tangy taste of school days

It occurred to me the other day that no matter how much we like to deny it Bengalaru is very much there in Bangalore as the other way round. Along with the dosa-darshini’s and kapi’s another greater unifier is the mavina kayi.  sliced raw mangoes and beside kadale the salted and boiled peanuts.


Dashing through the Mantri Mall at Bangalore my live daughter came to a halt right were the sliced Totapuri Mangoes coated with salt and chilli she had to have it. Her point is ammamma used to eat it too. Ammamma by the way is my mother

School days seems synonymous with the tangy taste, particularly among the pre-teens and early teens.

Another great favourite was the roasted tamarind seeds; these have gone out thanks to the tamarind pastes and extinct wood or coal stoves.

Amy the youngest sister in Louise Alcott’s Little Women gets into trouble over pickled lime. Then there is the Indian favourite chigli made of tamarind jaggery salt and chilli. There seems something so addictive about these particularly to school girls.

I remember jumping the compound to Dr.T.M.A.Pai’s house to pick raw mangoes and Bimbulli. I don’t know what bimbulli is called in English but it is a country cousin of the gooseberry.

for all eternity?

ಪ್ಲಿನ್ಕ್ಯ್ ಕೆಳುತಿರುವುದು ನಾನು ಚಿರಂಜೀವಿ ಆಗಬಯಸುವೇನೋ ಇಲ್ಲವೋ ಉತ್ತರವನ್ನು ಕಾರಣದೊಂದಿಗೆ ಸ್ಪಷ್ಟಿಕರಿಸಬೇಕು.

ಅಯ್ಯೋ, ಸೂಪರ್ಸ್ಟಾರ್  ಚಿರಂಜೀವಿಯಾಗಲು ಲಿಂಗಬದಲಾವಣೆಯ ಸರ್ಜರಿ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಲ್ಲಬೇಕಾಗುತದೆ. ಈಗಾಗಲೇ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಸರ್ಜರಿಗಳಾಗಿವೆ ಸೊ ಅದರ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಯೇ ಇಲ್ಲ.

 ಉಳಿದಿರುವ ಚಿರಂಜೀವಿಯಂದರೆ ಮರಣವಿಲ್ಲದವರು! ಇದರಬಗ್ಗೆ "informed decision " ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ಪರಶುರಮರನ್ನೋ ಇಲ್ಲಾ ಅಶ್ವತ್ಹಾಮರನ್ನೋ ಹುಡುಕಬೇಕು. ಆದರೆ ನಿಜವೆನ್ನಲು   ಇದೇ ಶರೀರದಲ್ಲಿ ಚಿರಂಜೀವಿಯಾದರೆ, ಮುಪ್ಪು, ಮರವು, ನಿತ್ರಾಣ, ಇವೆಲ್ಲರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಬಯವಾಗುತದೆ, ಗೆಳೆಯರು, ನೆಂಟರು ಹೋದಮೇಲೆ ಒಂಟಿ ಜೀವನ ಬೇಡವೇ ಬೇಡ, ನಾನಂತೂ ಬಲಿ ಮಹಾರಾಜರಂತೆ ಸಂಜೀವನಿ ವಿದ್ಯೆ ಅರಿತು ಪುನರೋದ್ಧರವಾಗಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲ!

ಆದರೆ ಜನರ ಸ್ಮರಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅಮರವಾಗುವುದು --ಹ್ಮ್ಮ್ ??!! ನಾಟ್ ಬ್ಯಾಡ್ -- ಒಳ್ಳೆ ಐಡಿಯಾ. 

ಅಯೋಧ್ಯೆಯ ರಾಮನ ಮನುಷ್ಯನಿಂದ -- ಆದರ್ಶ-- ತದನಂತರ ದೈವತ್ವದ "ಆಯನವು " ರಾಮಾಯಣವಾದಂತೆ ನನ್ನ ಆಯನವು "ಪಾರೋ-ಆಯನ "(ಆಡುಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪಾರಾಯಣವಾಗದಿದ್ದರೆ ಪುಣ್ಯ!) ಇಲ್ಲವೇ ಪಾರೂ-ಚರಿತಂ ಆಗಬಹುದಲ್ಲ, ದೆಫಿನಿತೆಲ್ಯ್ ನಾಟ್ ಬ್ಯಾಡ್! :) 

patriotism in action.

The book is scheduled for release on dec.7th 2010.

ISBN 978-93-80739-06-9

Author Mr.Valmiki Falerio

Publisher Goa 1556

Very interesting presented well researched book on Goans and their contribution to India’s defence service.

The excellent foreword by General S.F. Rodrigues the former chief of the army brings about the strength and weakness in our national systems. The impact of the WOGS (western oriental Gentlemen) created by the British Raj and a need to re-invent ourselves.

The prologue with the inspirations for the book, his childhood in the army, the subtle askance in the post liberation Goa arena.

Through the articles published he has the courage to face short comings and point our errors. He has economically and very precisely wielded the scalpel to carve the defense case for the Goans in the Indian Defence services both Hindu and Catholic.

He points out the unfair and legal thievery of the lands and homes of the Goans in the defence services.

His observations like the need to get a govt.sanction to come home to Goan be it for an occasion or a holiday could have partially brought about the exclusion trend is an eye opener.

Challenges faced during writing like inability to get the names and ranks through a single source, the lack of honouring of her Martyred sons by Goa and her media are some grouses.

The article by Sqd.Ldr.George Menezes called Dishonouring our soldier beautifully deals with the attitude of the civilians to defence personal; the hurt overshoots the anger in the article.

Lawyer-activist-writer-politician Radharao Gracias looks at Patriotism vs. Chauvinism he is very candid about our being slaves for nearly 2000 years. (His article inspires an entire blog if not a book, so I shall stop it here)

The final dessert is the serving of a light hearted thriller like experience of Capt. Jimmy Martins a tale of two violins.

A very good read, wish a lot of the younger generation could read this.

the body language

“the most important part of communication is to hear what isn’t being said” – Peter.F.Drucker
Many a times our body is communicating even when we are not. Look at the guys tilt their heads and run their fingers through their hair. If you follow the direction of the tilt you will find their object of interest. With girls meddling with the hair would either mean interest or boredom.
When the eyes say one thing and the tongue another a practised man relies on the language of the first—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lot of people don’t seem to realize that standing too close to a person is intruding into the person’s private space. There are definite zone pattern of personal space.
Public zone 4mts-sight extent
Social zone 1 – 4 mts.
Personal zone 60cms-1mt.
Intimate zone 0 – 60cm.
This is of course given to cultural variation when you are in a personal zone it is useful to keep 45 from the person(particularly if you want to flirt with the person) this makes the person feel less threatened. Give the person the choice to move closer. Narrowed eyes indicate that person in uncomfortable with you. The ability to communicate and connect to a person depends on your capacity to make that person valuable. Some simple signals that could help
• Scan – just gazing around take no more than 5 – 10 secs.
• Hello directed at the person who interests you this is a quick glance and look away.
• Look in once you suspect mutual interest repeated make fleeting eye contact.
• Smile.
• Flash the eyebrow for a second anything more than that will make you look Groucho Marx. Combine this with a smile and eye contact your communication is complete.
• Go over and introduce yourself with simple and direct”hi I’m so and so.”
Practising observing body language.
Initially use a notebook and write down the non verbal signals.
• Work makes people’s body language change particularly if the boss is around.
• Friends their body language particularly mirroring and how it changes when another party of mutual interest comes.
• Couples in love
• Couples in conflict.
re

greying gracefully

Aging and the fun of it.
Growing up in a family teaches us how to get along with people who are not ur age group and also of different interests.
Small things like my normal state of myopia becoming far sight though part of aging I know was bound to happen as I have seen the others in my family go through it.
Sometimes my friends and I have visualized becoming feminine version of the dirty old men that leer at the young things in the bar and have a laugh. Imagine 40—50 something women maybe even older leering at the software blokes at a pub! LOL
May be I should quote Ruth Gordon to myself once in a while” there is one smashing rule: never face facts of life” so we don’t have to face the fact guys are not interesting unless they have lived at least most of the history that you have.
Just as bifocals are part of life I know menopause will also be. Until we decided to Americanize our life and health concern menopause and pre-and post was less traumatic and even physiologically bothersome for women from Islamic countries, central and eastern Asia. For in these societies menopause meant, release from menstrual taboos. It also meant shift from youth and sexual focus to power and authority (the MIL) this by is a study conducted by an Ethiopian medical anthropologist. Yewoubdar Bryenne.
I think every woman needs to say this to herself.
Blessed be my brain
That I may conceive of my own power
Blessed be my breast
That I may give sustenance to those I love
Blessed be my womb
That I may create what I choose to create
Blessed be my knees
That I bend so as not to break
Blessed me feet
That I might walk in path of highest will.

Connecting to people

Do you realize how sometimes we suddently clique with somepeople and sometimes we don’t
Watch people at a restraint or talking to each other they seem to mirror each other , example if one has his left foot fowrd the other has his right. Another thing I found on experimenting is that if we are able to mirror a person’s breathing pattern they are able to relax faster with you
Try this experiment sometime, say you observe a person who is tapping his finger’s or shaking a leg, lets settle for the leg as an example, tap your fingers to same rhythm in an abstract manner, the person slowly becomes aware of you
To connect to people one needs to know how the person perceives communication. These clues are available from their conversations, people are either
Visual
Audio
Feelers.
Visual are people who visualize a communication that is to a picture emerges before them. Visual people tend to breathe quick shallow breathes very easily disracted, their breathing is from the upper chest and conversation is strewn with
I see what you mean
That seems clear
Can you show it to me
Listeners: they take in the words that you see, and internalize it, they are a little slow in their response, breathing is from mid chest. Their phrases tend to be
That sounds right
Rings a bell
Tell me about it.
Feelers: its not that the others don’t feel, but these people are in the body mind circuit, their responses are very very slow. Their conversations tend contain
Let me get the feel of it
I’ll put my mind to it.
Take a fun test for yourself.
This test is courtesy www.datedoctors.com
Find out whether you are a see-er, listener, or a feeler circle the responses and check it out
What attracts you to others
how they look
how they sound
how they move
when I am talking to someone I see
see what they are saying
hear what they are saying
get a feel of what they are saying
when I’m lost
I prefer a map
ask for directions
trust my gut instincts
I prefer to
go the movies, watch TV or a video
go to a concert, listen to music or the radio
play sport or do something physical
when I have lots of things to do i
make a list or imagine myself doing them
keep reminding myself to do them
feel uneasy until they are done
I prefer books or magazines
with lot of pictures
lot of articles
which are practical and how to
I go to places where
1. I can watch people
2. there is music conversation or quiet
3. there are things to do
If I have a problem i
look for ways to solve it
talk about solutions
churn it over until it feels right
when learning something new it iseasier for me to
have someone show me how todo it
have someone explain what to do
get in and do it my self.
Count the number of 1,2, and 3 responses
Totals 1(looker)---2(listner)---3(feeler)---

Judging the beauty judges.

“just one , I wish I'd been prettier”
was Eleanor Roosevelt's only regret in life
“any man with $42 million looks like Clark Gable”
was Don Kiln's comment on Mohamed Ali
Androgynous – an interesting word. Reflects today's women and parameters of good looks, since child bearing and famine fear are no more issue the curvaceous woman is out. Just look at the all American beauty icons, the post world war II America with massive population depletion had Marilyn Munroe as its icon in 1950, by 1960 when the need was overcome she was replaced by Jackie Kennedy to the Twiggy Ann of today.
A man's body was considered an instrument of power so they are less judged by appearances, in today's desked culture which is divorced off physical labour male muscles announces leisure discipline sexuality and fitness
but world wide women are being pushed into while ideals of beauty.
Though very very slowly the language of power is shifting causing a change in the parameter. Look at the afro hairstyles, rap, music or dressing.
Clothes and body ornamentation follow the same political fuels of male strength and female weakness.
Just in case we are looking at a free west-- women are put into restriction of fashion there too, see the insistence of demure frocks with buttons behind, stay neat and trim, gown clad women limping on spiked heels.
Look at the women news reader they are often much younger than their male counterparts after all with age comes authority, these beauty standards set by a youth worshiping media help to get rid of the women just as they are attaining real power.
When men are held to the youth worshiping standards they serve the same purpose as women yet women age while men mature!?!
sometimes I feel beauty is less about looks than behavior for women it is more about sex and reproduction for men it is more economic and productivity.
If the standard for women is the iron maiden or rather the plastic Barbie for a man it is the iron man. Powerful strong and handsome. A design men are vainly; trying to live up to. Men are discouraged from using higher octaves of voice, crying or smiling.
A smile in a man is seen is ingratiation and weakness.